Of Nightmares and Kisses
by rainjewel
Summary: Nightmares run rampant in Zelgadis' sleep, but only Lina knows of his pain. A night when at last realizations come to light.


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Of Nightmares and Kisses

By: rainjewel

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A/N: Yay! As the Slayers one-shots continue to cascade through my little skull. And it's not yaoi. Surprisingly (or not) I'm a hardcore Lina x Zelgadis shipper. Sure, I love the Xelloss x Zelgadis pairing, but I don't truly see it happening. Lina and Zel on the other hand, make a great _and_ plausible couple. Much better than Amelia and Zelgadis for several reasons, but I'm not going sit out here with a huge "FLAME ME" sign strapped to my chest.

Oh, random thought—does anyone else think that the song "Disease" by Matchbox Twenty sounds like a Lina x Zelgadis romance or what? Jeez…the lyrics are absolutely perfect for the two of them. Hmm…

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Zelgadis had watch.

Lina knew she should go wake him. It was about time for him to wake up on his own, however, and she figured she'd spare herself the trouble.

No one ever wanted to wake Zel up.

His sleep was a constant romp in Horrorland, a violent place that left him hoarse from screams, bloody from his own teeth and nails. Awake, Zel never let anything slip past his features he didn't want to, even though when surrounded by his familiar travelling companions, Zel loosened up. Only Lina had ever witnessed the supreme self-control Zelgadis could possess. 

But the night steals all masks and sucks control like a black leech. Zel slept during Lina's watch only—the first one—until, awakened by his own willpower or some never-ending nightmare, he would remain awake through dawn. He of course gave watch over to Amelia or Gourry, but even though he would lay back down, he only feigned slumber. When they were lucky enough to grab rooms at an inn, he sealed his own with a silencing spell and locked the door a few times over.

Only Lina was allowed to witness his sleep terrors. He never talked about them, of course, but she heard his screams, saw his pain, his fear, and always woke him lest the others catch on. It had become an agreement with only a look, a locked gaze shared during the first few nights they had stayed together.

He'd hit Amelia once. After a brutal attack by lesser Mazoku Gourry had carried the unconscious Zel back to their inn. The princess had healed his wounds, but when the nightmares came Lina was absent, healing her own bumps and scratches. He had awoken, fists swinging as Amelia sobbed for him to wake up, clutching his shoulders.

Amelia, ever the naïve, lovable girl she was, wrote it off as a one-time, pain-induced fluke as she held her bruised face. Zelgadis, knowing better, left for weeks.

So Lina woke him. She was better at getting out of the way than the others and she sometimes used extreme tactics, such as dousing him with water (which he hated with a passion). When Xelloss was around she had him wake Zel up. At first Zel had been furious, but was soothed by the fact that Xelloss took hits extremely well.

Xelloss…she'd figure him out one day. There was more to that Mazoku than met the eye.

Tonight, however, it was just her and Zelgadis. Amelia was in Saillune, unable to avoid her duties as a monarch forever, and Gourry had decided to up and get sick on them. He was probably slurping up bowl upon bowl of Sylphiel's chicken soup right now.

Lina watched Zel's hands clench at his sides. She had went with him on a lead for his cure out of sheer boredom. An ancient amulet that supposedly had the power to grant one wish to whoever possessed it. Unfortunately, it was false—a trap set up by pissed off and lightly toasted bandits Lina recalled meeting twice before. 

Zelgadis moaned. Lina didn't know if she should wait any longer. She threw another log on their fire, then sat down beside him, wary of his unconscious movements. His hands were running up and down his thighs, gripping the fabric of his pants. His face was only slightly pinched, but his breathing was hard. Occasionally a word or two tumbled from his lips, which otherwise kept silent.

It had hit him hard today, this failure. Lina carefully watched her hands creep closer to his. It had been a while since their last adventure. No obnoxious demi-gods had needed to be eradicated in a while, therefore Zelgadis had been left with few distractions. The pressure to find a cure was building in him, and it hurt him with its need. Discovering that today's lead, one of the best they had found yet, was nothing but a lie, was nearly devastating.

Zel's self-control came forth today. Lina had noticed that when the chimera was closed to breaking, his walls became nearly impenetrable. Upon learning that it was nothing but a trap, that the last month spent working on this lead was nothing more than a lie, Zel's face had closed up, eyes shuttering. The bandits had lured them onto a six-pointed star within an old cavern, canceling out any magic use. As the burly bastards surrounded them, Zel had smoothly unsheathed his sword, not fazed by the turn of events, and told Lina to stay close to him.

Lina had told him to stuff it, unsheathed her own blade, but stayed by him all the same.

He had promptly killed every single one. Lina, unable to match his speed and surprised by his actions, did practically nothing. Zel worked quickly, efficiently. Gourry would have been more than impressed.

Zel flinched in his sleep. A low moan slipped through his mouth and his eyes twitched. His hands suddenly clenched hard at his thighs.

"Rezo…" he breathed.

Lina's eyes widened. He hadn't spoken since the massacre of the bandits. She hadn't said anything either, emotions too chaotic to sort. She was relieved that they had won, awed by Zelgadis' skill, and frightened by the calm ferocity he had displayed. Zel was not the type for a massacre—a killer, but he definitely did not kill for enjoyment and avoided it at all costs. 

Blood began to seep through his pale, beige trousers from where his nails were digging through his stone skin. Lina gasped.

Zel started at the sound.

"Rezo!"

His hands flew to either bicep, grabbing at his arms and crossing against his chest. He drew his bloody legs up slightly, turning to his side. Lina winced as more blood began to spill from where his hands dug into his arms.

"Zel!" she whispered, kneeling over him. "No Zel, it's Lina! Wake up Zel!"

He shuddered. "Rezo!" he yelled, hoarsely.

Lina ripped off her gloves, knowing he should recognize her touch. Without another thought, she grabbed his hands, trying to pull them away from the dark ribbons they were slicing into his arms.

"Zel! Shh, it's Lina. Stop!" she said, louder this time.

"RAH!" he yelled, voice gravelly. His stone hands reached around, grabbing her arms just above the wrist. Lina shrieked as he pulled her down, clutching her arms to his chest. 

"Zel wake up!" she pleaded, trying to wriggle her arms away from his grasp. It was no use. She felt his sharp fingernails dig into her skin and bit her lip.

"Rezo…NO!" he screamed again. The fingernails pierced her skin. Lina bit back a cry.

"Zel you bastard!" she yelled. Lina looked down at her arms in horror, watching her blood spill over his hands, her veins torn. _He's going to kill me…I can't stop him with my hands apart._

Zelgadis' eyes twitched and a sad, sobbing sound bubbled forth from his mouth. Lina's horror increased—in all her time spent watching him wrestle his demons, she'd never known him to cry. What was wrong?

__

I'm going to die, that's what.

She leaned close to him, pressing her face to the crook of his neck. She felt the familiar stone skin beneath his shirt, felt how unnaturally tense he was. She felt her own body weakening as the blood loss became too much. It was so quick!

"Zelgadis, wake up. Please Zel, it's me, it's Lina. Don't be scared Zel. I'm here. Zel, please, please stop! Zel…" her voice, hitching in panic, yet fading away at the same time, sounded so foreign to her ears.

Zel flinched beneath her, making her dizzy with the sharp movement. Lina felt her strength give out, all but collapsing on top of the shaman. She closed her eyes. _Zel, please. They'll never forgive you if you kill me. I'll understand, but they won't. Zel, wake up!_

Zelgadis cried out again, but suddenly the fierce grip on her arms was gone. Her arms fell to the sides of his chest as they were released. Lina gasped weakly. Out of relief or surprise, she didn't know.

A familiar voice broke through the air. "What the…"

__

Zel, you are such a jerk sometimes.

"LINA!"

And just like that, Lina was no longer lying prostate on his chest, but rather cradled in his arms like a little girl. Zelgadis was sitting up now, and Lina looked at his face with a rather annoyed smirk on her own. His eyes were wide and frantic, entire demeanor panicked. She had never seen him so concerned.

His hands were on her arms again. She flinched at the touch. Zelgadis' eyes went wet and he winced. A warm glow caressed both her forearms, and suddenly Lina felt a whole lot better. Zelgadis had always had a good healing spell, surprising for a person who so rarely got hurt.

__

At least by anyone else.

She shifted in his embrace. "Zel—"

"Shh, don't move yet Lina," he said. He brushed her hair out her face with a bloody hand. He had the same expression on as the time he had punched Amelia. "I'm so sorry, Lina. I didn't—oh L-sama, I almost _killed_ you."

Lina smiled evilly and gently pushed herself away from him. "Yeah, you jerk. You owe me one mighty fine meal. Make that three."

"Not funny, Lina," he said, watching her carefully. "Are you okay?"

Lina ignored his scrutiny, feeling the awkwardness of the situation skyrocketing, even if he was clueless to it. She shook herself once. She was Lina Inverse, and she didn't ever worry, or discuss too much. _You and me, Zel…we're really not that different._

"I'm good, Zel. You, on the other hand, look like shit," she remarked in her trademark, carefree tone of voice. She took a deep breath to steady her still racing heart (oh yes, ignore that too), and then raised herself up to her knees.

Zel said nothing, just sat staring at her. She reached out and touched his tunic gently. It was covered in her blood, mixed lightly with his own. 

"Zel, would you mind…taking that off?"

Zelgadis' eyes closed, but not before Lina could catch a glimmer of a tear. Her throat caught. With shaking arms, Zel quietly lifted the bloody garment high over his head, still refusing to open his eyes, even turning his face away. Lina cursed at the sight of his arms, ripped to ribbons. Gently, she pressed a palm to both his arm wounds and muttered a healing spell of her own. While he wasn't looking, she snuck looks at his bare chest, amazed. To think that he considered himself a monster…by L-sama, Lina had never seen anything so beautiful.

Tears began to pool in her eyes, and Lina didn't understand why. She cursed silently.

Her bare hands reached down, coming to rest on his bloody thighs. Zelgadis' eyes flew open, and his head snapped to look at her. She healed him quickly, not looking away from his cerulean gaze.

She felt herself blush, but she didn't care.

How could someone say so many things without words? Zelgadis communicated through actions—he always had. Lina believed in the philosophy that actions often spoke truer than speech, but she liked words all the same. Still, how could one pair of sparkling blue eyes say so much, and make her feel so many different things?

She was amazed. That, she realized, drowning in a sea of blue, was what was so enticing about Zel. He amazed her all the time. Pissed her off, embarrassed her, annoyed her to no end, but always seemed to make sure that she knew how much he cared about her. Zelgadis, the creature made of stone that liked to thought of as an Evil Sorcerer, would be her friend to the end. It was touching in a way.

But judging by that wounded, frightened look in his eyes, that look Lina knew only she had seen, she was losing him. Possibly due to the nightmares, but more to the fact that he didn't know that he would never lose her.

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I'll never let you go, Zel.

Lina's eyebrows shot up with sudden realization. Her heart, ignored far too long, stood up and cheered.

Her tears, long held in check, silently began to trickle down her cheek. With a noisy, high-pitched breath—_Good one, Lina!_—she hooked an arm around the back of his neck and hugged him closely, other arm pressed against his chest.

"Zel, don't go. Please don't go," she whispered, words muffled by his neck, which was pressed against her face. "Don't run, Zel. It'll be okay. We're both fine."

"Lina?" Zel asked, sounding oddly like Gourry. She felt his body tense, but then his hesitation dissolved and Lina found herself wrapped in a secure embrace she hadn't realized she had wanted. Zel buried his head in her hair and held her tightly.

"Zel, I—I don't want you to be upset," she whispered, feeling repressed shivers course underneath his skin. She felt desperate—Zel was crumbling as he held her. She clutched him tighter. This _was_ keeping him from running…but not from breaking.

"I…almost killed you," he said, teeth gritted. "Lina, I'm sorry. I'm—"

"Stop!" Lina said. She rose up, barely, and pressed her wet cheek against his. Both their eyes closed, and Lina felt her hand resting on his throat. It was amazing how smooth his skin actually was. _I suppose when you don't hit him as hard as you can you don't end up all bloody._

Zel's old, yet often remembered statement flew through her brain: _Please, be gentle with me._

How many truths had he spoken, yet she had missed due to her lack of observation?

"Zel, I just realized something," Lina whispered, wondering at how soft his steel hair was. No cuts, no poking. It was like strong silk. "I just realized how close I am to losing you. Losing you to whatever haunts you in those dreams you always have. "

Zel's breathing hitched. Lina held him tight.

"Lina, I should leave. I should have left a long time ago. I can't keep control of myself in my sleep. I almost—L-sama," he said, tone throaty. He ran his hands through her hair, a sensation that made Lina purr in the back of her throat, softly.

"No, Zel," Lina said, feeling scared for the first time in a while. "No, you can't leave me. I won't lose you. Please, I can help. I'll help you."

Zel stiffened in her arms. "I can't let you do that. I don't even know _how_ you'd do that."

Lina leaned back. She ran her hands through his hair, loving the way it tinkled as her fingers passed through the metallic strands. Her hands then traced the angles of his face, skittering across his cheekbones, nose and lips. For some reason she didn't feel embarrassed or awkward—she felt something altogether new and different.

Zelgadis closed his eyes. "How could you help me, Lina? You couldn't."

And instead of a Fireball to change his mind, Lina was struck by another tactic.

"You're wrong, Zel," she said, leaning in. "I can help you. Like this…"

She kissed him then.

Lina gently placed her lips on his, barely catching his lower lip between hers. She'd thought once that if someone kissed Zel it would be like making out with a rock. She had blushed at the thought. But no, Zel's mouth was soft, if a bit firmer than other mouths. Lina truly wouldn't know. She had never kissed anyone. Zelgadis, however, apparently had. After that initial hesitation of .004 seconds (only an estimate), his hand was cupping the nape of her neck, slinking beneath her layers of fiery hair. He delicately licked her lower lip, tongue gentler than a flower petal. Lina inhaled deeply, but as her mouth was closing from the breath, that sweet tongue slipped between her lips, caressing every crevasse within her mouth.

Lina folded like a sheet, pressing into Zel as if her life depended on it (maybe it did). His hard body felt like the safest, most beautiful thing in the world, and Lina thought it probably was. Zelgadis broke the kiss gently (so gently!), then trailed a line of kisses from her ear to her chin, and then began suckling carefully on her neck.

__

L-sama…where the hell did he learn_ this? Oh Zel…there is so much I don't know. You're going to have to let me in. Let me in, Zel. I'll love you forever, no matter what._

She felt swollen, ready to burst with everything at once. Lina placed two hands on Zel's shoulders, and firmly pulled away. Zelgadis groaned quietly and quickly, almost beyond notice, and ceased his actions like a gentleman.

"Zel," she breathed, finding the night hot. She looked into his eyes, found something without a name there (well, it had a name, she was just a little nervous to think of what it was), and then saw the glittering, wet tears that were sticking to the stones on his face. "Zel?"

Lina reached out and Zelgadis caught the hand that cupped his face. His eyes closed again.

"Lina…you make everything so complicated," he said, but she knew he didn't mean it as an insult. She rubbed her thumb around a small stone on his cheekbone and waited patiently. "Before I met you, a cure for this…body…was the only thing I could picture giving me perfect happiness. It drove me, for quite sometime. It still drives me on occasion. But with you…Lina, you have shown me a world where I could have that happiness, cure or no cure."

Her breath caught with his words. How could one creature, one _guy_ make her so…dizzy?

Zel opened his eyes. Sapphire met ruby and held.

"Stay with me, Zel," Lina whispered.

Zel nodded, slowly. "I will. Lina…I—I love…I love you. I have for a long time."

A blush crept onto the pair's cheeks simultaneously. Lina kissed him briefly on the lips.

"I love you too, Zel," Lina whispered. _I'm just an idiot at times._

And suddenly awkwardness hit full force. Zelgadis looked shocked and elated at the same time, something Lina had never seen. And she was feeling…vulnerable. That had never happened to her before, or at least she had never recognized it for what it was.

So Lina began to cry. _Twice in one night? Dear L-sama, I _never_ cry._

But with Zel it was okay.

"Zel," she said, feeling a sudden urge to be as close to him as possible. She snuggled close to him, pressing against his chest again. She traced frantic patterns on his back. "Do you have any idea how safe you feel?"

There were kisses in her hair, safe arms holding her close. He smelled like the forest, earthy and natural. As the emotional tidal wave, (led by the villainous vulnerability) rolled over her, Lina clung to Zel. Never had she depended on another person. It was illogical, this need she suddenly had for him. But the thought of not having him beside her…Lina would rather be dead.

It only took a moment, and then she realized everything was going to be okay. Still, they sat there for minutes on end, clutching each other. Lina regained her composure, and Zelgadis smoothed his features into something presentable. It was hard to tell what exactly he was feeling.

"Lina?" he whispered after a moment. She stirred against him, lazily kissing his collarbone. It was as if she'd been bundled up by L-sama herself, safe from the world, safe from hurt. "Lina, I've never been needed before."

She leaned back. Zelgadis looked lost. "I've always needed you. We all do."

He looked to the side. "But I'm—"

"Zelgadis Greywords. A chimera, yes, but we love you the way you are. Zel, none of us give a flying rat's ass as to your chimerical appearance. You wanted to be strong—you are strong. Physically, due to that body, but mentally as well. Do you realize the gifts you have from that body? Do you realize how it has changed you into the person you are today? If you lost that body of yours, you'd lose a part of yourself. You'd return to that young boy who wanted to grow up, be big and strong. You are strong now. You said I made you happy, as happy as you would be with a cure. But Zel, I'll make you happier. You are never going to lose me."

Lina looked at him warmly, having said her piece. Zel opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, and then opened it again.

"I need time to think on that," he said quietly. His head bowed. Lina drew his forehead to her, resting his head on shoulder. She stroked his hair and neck.

"Then think with me, Zel," she whispered. He sat up again, looking down into her eyes with glazed, wet ones of his own. She pressed on his shoulders, and she felt him give way to her strength (voluntarily, of course). As he lay down on the ground, Lina gently lowered herself so that she was curled on top of him, holding him. With one hand, she reached out and covered both their bodies with a blanket.

"I don't think this is a good idea, Lina," Zel said, tensing a bit, but lacing his arms around her all the same.

"Shh. Sleep Zel. I'm here, and nothing's going to hurt you," she said, raising her head to look at him. 

Zelgadis smiled. Lina felt his hand migrating up her back, and before she knew it her lips were pressed against his. She clutched his shoulders for balance, but shouldn't have worried as he tipped her to the ground, reversing their positions. Bracing himself on his elbows, Zelgadis kissed her time after time, making her head spin until not even L-sama herself could bring the world back into focus. Lina blissfully allowed herself to be kissed to the point of drunkenness that would have done Naga proud. Zelgadis was ever the gentleman, keeping his hands to himself, letting Lina relax completely.

As he lay down beside her, drawing her back to his chest, he let out the most delicious sigh Lina had ever heard. Feeling dizzy again, she turned around in his arms and kissed him on the throat, making him shudder and moan at the same time. She chuckled against his neck, rearranging the blanket over them. Curled against his chest like a baby, Lina kissed him and stroked his hair until he fell asleep. 

Watching his chest rise and fall for the first time in utter peace, Lina kissed him on the lips as lightly as possible. Safe and secure, nightmares thwarted thoroughly, she joined him in slumber.

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End file.
